A direct flight from Vancouver, and then the South Island at full amplitude: a jet boat up the Dart River near Glenorchy, a boat across Lake Manapouri to a farm lodge on the edge of Fiordland, and an early start into Milford Sound before the day boats arrived.
Then north to Wanaka – a via ferrata up bolted rungs, a helicopter to a glacier, and kea parrots auditing the landing. What makes the country absurd is the compression: rock to forest to lake to glacier inside thirty minutes of flying.
House rule, enforced at altitude: when there's an opportunity to jump in the water, you jump. Glacial lake included. One family member went in; the others made excellent witnesses.